Obsession

How many of us suffer from obsessive behaviour throughout our days on and off?

Do you know that obsessive behaviour is a disorder that one keep having compulsive preoccupation with a fixed idea.

Many times we do not realize that we are suffering this ourselves.

The same idea keeps coming to haunt you until you repeatedly doing the same actions.

You do not know when exactly to stop that actions, you do not know how to draw the line of “enough”.

It creates anxiety.

There it irritates other people, it creates fears in others of you.

Then, why?

Why need so much assurance that you are able to be in control?

Why need so much to control things in your own hands?

Why such insecure feelings?

Why fear so much of rejection?

Why such reactions towards rejection?

Rejection does not come from any other people, but it is from yourself.

You agree with how others view you, you rejected yourself but blaming others for causing it in you.

Dear, wake up!

Have you not seen God who has wonderfully and fearfully made you when you were still in your mother’s womb?

Have you not known that Jesus died on the cross just because of you?

Just because God sees you as His precious.

Even how lousy we were, He still wanted to die for us.

Aren’t those already enough to prove that God loves you?

Aren’t those already enough to prove that God values you priceless?

Why don’t agree with God instead of those people as lousy as us?

Dear, wake up!

Friend, don’t worry, I know

Don’t worry, friend, I know and I understand.

You did not do this because you do not appreciate the friendship

You did not do this because you would not want the friendship to last longer

You’ve tried whatever you think you were able to at the situation or position you were at

You’ve tried your best to avoid hurting any parties

You’ve done what you think best at the moment for the better of the both of us

You may even feel helpless at times in this as well

I know and I understand

Whatever I’ve vented out previously, I was just venting out, so that I can feel better by thinking the worst of it.

It’s complicated that you might not understand, but it is fine that you are unable to understand

But I would just like to say, no worries, and I do really know

It’s not what you wish to see that it turned out to be like this now, neither do I

Nevertheless, we will never know how it will turn out in the future

But we know that God will still be God at the end of the day

And our world should not just evolve around ourselves but instead it is all about God

Again, it is not just about ourselves

May God’s blessings go with you wherever you are

Do take care

遗憾

当初是我要把事情说开,就算知道可能会影响到以后的友情,我还是不得不说。

现在当我决定放手,希望能够回到像以前那样当好朋友。

原来已经不能够了。

每一个都是我自己作的决定,虽然我都没有问过你愿不愿意,可你也从来没有主动解释过,即使是努力地尝试解释都没有。

我不知道你在想什么呀,我只有在猜想。

所以当你没有回我的邮件时,我猜想你是不希望再回到像从前那样的友情了。

我问过自己有没有后悔过当初的决定,我告诉自己我没有。

可是如果我能够更好的处理,也许就不会像现在这样的遗憾了。

我也猜想,或许你现在只是想把我当路过遇见点一点头,遇见时也只是礼貌性地打个招呼的朋友吧。

就这样,我让我的人生多了一个禰补不了的遗憾。

得不到你的肯定与你的回音,这也是一个我不敢再去勉强禰补遗憾的原因。

这更是因为友情是双方面的。

~我想我又在乱想事情了。