Start crying and crying again. Thought that things will get better. But it didn’t, it was just hid under the table, deeper and deeper.
Then realized, it’s still there.
It’s been 4 years since I’m back. It really never come across my mind that it will be like that.
How much I have disappointed my church brothers and sisters, those who have tried to help me; those who tolerated with me.
And now, I don’t dare to tell any of them even though I really hope to.
Inside me I am shouting and crying for help.
But I just unable to tell them.
I’m a disappointment to them. I’m such a failure.
I have been wondering what’s wrong with me?
Will I be able to find a way out? Will I be able to find a home?
Will I be able to be happy again?